One Last Time
by ncisgirl923
Summary: Katniss is a widow with a choice to make...go back to the past with Gale or move forward with Peeta. Inspired partially by the song "One Last Time." Rated M for lemons and language! First story!
1. Chapter 1

"Kaat…!" Johanna called from outside her office door. "I have something for you."

Katniss glanced up to see her fellow editor and best friend since college, Johanna Mason, dancing around outside her office. "What is it? I am doing my own copy work. Rue is sick."

"I know, brainless." Johanna grinned. Johanna knew everything that happened at Capitol Publishing. "I brought you a treat to keep your strength up. But first, you have to agree to go out with us tonight."

"I don't want to go out." Katniss sighed. She knew her best friend was trying to help get her out of her shell, but she really didn't have time. "I was hoping to spend a peaceful weekend at home before I go to the conference next week."

"But all of those hot lawyers will be there," Johanna protested. "Thresh, Marvel, Cato, Blight….you know that Marvel is a cutie."

Katniss grimaced. "You know how I feel about anything or anyone that comes from District One," she declared with a disapproving glare at Johanna.

"I know, I know." Johanna let out a dramatic sigh. "It's just that he is the prettiest of the group and you like pretty guys. I am definitely going to sleep with Blight. He's hot, not that scrawny kid from back home in Seven anymore," she declared with a grin.

"Pr-pretty guys?! I do not. Whatever," Katniss scoffed. "Cato is the only decent one of the bunch and he makes me nervous."

"Finnick was pretty….and so is Gale, if you think about it," Johanna said with a nervous look. "Cato IS hot. He kind of has that bad boy thing going for him. Take him for a test drive. There hasn't been anyone since Finnick and you need to open up again."

Katniss twisted the emerald ring on her finger as she pictured Finnick's green eyes and her heart dropped into her shoes. Will it ever stop hurting? she wondered.

"Cato is hot," Katniss agreed. "But he kind of scares me. He seems edgy, tough, determined…."

"Like somebody else I know….ahem, Katniss," Johanna pretended to cough.

"I do what I need to…...Fine, I will go if it will get you to be quiet. When and where?"

"8:00 at BTU, that new club based on District Three," Johanna replied.

"Fine. Now can I have my treat so I can finish my work so I CAN go out tonight? This has to get done."

Johanna tossed two cake pops on her desk. They were exquisitely decorated in her favorite green. "They are from this new bakery called the Meadow Lark. You should check it out. Right it up."

Katniss bit into the cake pop. "I will do that. This is amazing."

"And speaking of amazing, you should check out the baker. He is yummy," Johanna laughed.

"Get out of here! Let me work!" Katniss declared, throwing a paper wad at her best friend. Johanna retreated, probably to go gossip with Clove and Elektra, their fellow editors and close friends. "Thanks for the treat!"

Katniss packed up her laptop and shut off the lights in her office. She was the last one to leave Capitol Publishing on this warm Friday evening.

It was such a nice day that Katniss decided to walk home to her condo. Cato, she thought, mentally trying to prepare herself for an evening out. He IS hot and successful, she conceded, remembering the interview she did with him for the magazine. But he is so intense….almost ruthless.

Is that a bad thing? she wondered. A man who knows what he wants and goes after it? Is that really any different than how I have done things my entire career?

Johanna was right. She had not even thought about spending time with another man since Finnick. It's been 18 months, she realized. It's not like I'm looking to fall in love again….and Cato certainly isn't looking for that. Would it be so bad to have some fun?

Lost in thought, she didn't realize she had come to the new bakery. Meadow Lark, she mused. Glancing at the windows, so artfully decorated, gave her a feeling of deja vu. There is something familiar about this place.

Katniss slipped inside and was amazed at the decor. One whole wall was a painted mural of a green meadow with a brilliant orange sunset. It looks like home, she realized. Like Twelve.

"Sorry, but we're closed," said a masculine voice, interrupting her thoughts of home.

"I-I'm sorry, " she apologized, turning toward the display cases. "I had some cake pops from here today and wanted to find out more about this place….." her voice trailed off as she looked into the haunting blue eyes of the proprietor. Eyes she knew from half a lifetime ago. The eyes of the one who had saved her life all those years ago.

"Peeta? Peeta Mellark?" she squeaked in disbelief.

"Katniss? Katniss Everdeen?...Is it really you?"

Peeta rushed to her and scooped her up in his arms and spun her around until they almost lost their balance.

"Katniss Everdeen! I can't believe it. You are probably the last person I ever expected to come through my door."

"It's Katniss Odair now," she corrected, twisting the emerald ring on her finger.

"Oh," he said, giving the ring a strange look. "I didn't realize you were married."

"I-I'm not. Not anymore. I was….I am a widow," she explained, realizing it was the first time she had said those worlds aloud in all these months. "My husband died a year and a half ago. In the war."

Widow. The word hit her like a brick. "Can I sit down?"

"Oh-of course," Peeta started-pulling out one of black wrought iron chairs that sat at the tables. He studied her, eyes flicking from her face to the ring and back again. He knew that ring….he had helped his friend pick it out. Could Katniss really be the "Kitty" his commanding officer always talked about? he wondered, shaking his head in disbelief.

"What are you doing here Peeta?" Katniss asked, staring into his eyes. Does he know the truth? About Gale? About me? Are he and Gale still friends?

"I was injured in the war," he explained, gripping his lower leg. "I was captured. Lost the lower half of my leg. This is a prosthetic. I spent more than a year in rehab in Thirteen, and after that I was discharged and didn't know where to go. I didn't want to go home to Twelve. Gale suggested I come here and open a bakery with the money from my settlement from the military…." his voice trailed off, a look of pain flooding his fair features.

"Oh, Peeta, I didn't know. I am sorry," Katniss sympathized, impulsively grabbing his hand. "I really didn't know. I wish I could have been there to help you."

"You couldn't have known," Peeta said. "And it sounds like you have been through a lot lately yourself…..Maybe we can be friends again. Help each other heal."

Katniss withdrew her hand. "Peeta, I don't know about that. A lot has happened. I caused a lot of hurt to your best friend, so I don't know that you want anything to do with me. I am sure he told you what happened between us."

Peeta took her hand back again. "Katniss, I have a lot of things to tell you," he said earnestly. "And, I know the truth."


	2. Chapter 2

Katniss's thoughts smoldered as she dressed for evening out. What does Peeta mean, he knows the truth? About Gale? That coward still hides behind the story I concocted five years ago so he could save face.

Peeta can't possibly know. Nobody but Gale and I know the truth…...me, Gale and that skank Glimmer, I guess. I never even told Finnick the whole story.

And why did he keep staring at my ring? It's not like I needed his permission to get married. It's not like he was there when everything went bad with Gale.

Katniss glowered at the two carat oval shaped emerald ring that graced her left hand. This isn't even the real ring. Why was he so interested in it?

Her real engagement ring from Finnick was locked inside a safety deposit box in a bank in District Four, along with her wedding band. I guess it's kind of silly to wear a replica of a ring, she mused, but I would never forgive myself if something happened to the real thing.

It's not like Peeta will understand, she thought. I'm sure whatever "truth" he thinks he knows has the Gale spin on it. I'm sure I am the bad guy.

The encounter with Peeta had left a confusing churning river of emotions running through her that she couldn't shake as she dressed in a silver top and dark jeans and touched up her make up.

He DID agree to go to the cabin with me next weekend, she thought grabbing her purse. Her phone buzzed with a message that said her friends were waiting outside. Maybe we can sort all of this out then.

Clove and Elektra were buzzing about Johanna's choice of clothing as Katniss joined them. "Jo!" Clove screeched. "I have underwear that covers more than that!"

"That's because your underwear is boring," Johanna countered and they all laughed. "I have to make sure Blight forgets about that shy nerdy grade school version of me."

"I don't think that will be a problem," Elektra mused. "You could stop traffic wearing a paper bag."

"Hey, if it gets Blight into my bed, find me a bag and a crosswalk," Johanna smirked and they all laughed again.

"You look great tonight, Foxy," Clove said, using their college nickname for the wily Elektra.

"I love the light up jewelry," Katniss added.

"Thanks. It's from home," Elektra offered, referring to District Five where power is made. "Dad sent some for the two of you and even some for Jo-whore-a."

Katniss and Clove clung to each other to keep from collapsing in a fit of laughter. Johanna just smirked ." You won't be laughing when you "LADIES" get to write up my fabulous wedding for Capitol Magazine."

"The tight clothes are cutting off oxygen to her brain, making her delusional," Elektra stated, earning more laughter from Katniss and Clove.

**********************Break********************

"Do you think Marvel is cute?" Clove asked as she and Katniss flagged down the bartender. "I know you don't like anything from District One, but if you forget that, he seems okay, right?"

Katniss glanced up at the upper level of the club to see Marvel and Cato at a pool table and signed. I guess that means I am going to have to entertain myself with Cato, she thought. Johanna was dancing with Blight and Elektra looked pretty cozy playing darts with Thresh.

I can be Clove's wingman, she thought. Besides, Cato IS hot….

"KATNISS! And CLOVE!" the bartender exclaimed. "Long time no see babes. Are you doing a write up on this place?"

"Flavius!" Katniss exclaimed back. "What are you doing here?"

"Filling in to get this place up and running," he explained. "Your usual?"

Katniss and Clove nodded. "I might write it up, but tonight we are here just to hang out."

"We have to keep Foxy and Jo out of trouble," Clove added.

Flavius gave them a knowing look and a nod that made the orange corkscrews on his head bounce as he handed them their drinks. "Easier said than done from the looks of things," he declared with a laugh. "Come back and see me before you leave."

"Will do," Katniss callled with a wave as she and Clove headed for the upper level to find Cato and Marvel.

Katniss and Clove found that Thresh and Elektra had joined their group and their were all talking about some athletic contest the men were going to be competing in. Katniss chimed in occasionally, earning a reward in the form of a smile from Cato's handsome face for her knowledgeable comments.

He is cute, she mused, feeling the warming effects of the whiskey. And quite tall….and kind of pretty in that corporate lawyer sort of way….her thoughts trailed off as she drained the last of her drink.

Katniss glanced at her watch. It seems like I have been here forever, she thought, noting it had only been two hours.

Her phone buzzed with a message from Johanna that had been sent to all three girls. "Leaving with Blight. Don't wait up."

Katniss glowered at her phone. Figures, she thought. "I'm going to get another drink," she announced and headed downstairs.

The line at the bar was long, so Katniss took the opportunity to look around the club to see if it would be a good write up for her section of Capitol Magazine. Effie gave her a lot of creative license under that category of "business."

The club was fun, over-indulgent in its electricity theme, with sharp vivid decor in neons of blue, green, pink, and yellow.

I'll ask Flavius who owns this place, she thought, turning back to the busy bar, preparing to order another whiskey smash and pump the bartender for information.

She was just about to lean around the big man in front of the bar to get Flavius's attention when she heard someone call the name of the man she hadn't spoken to in five years.

"Gale! Shouldn't you be out schmoozing and promoting instead of bartending?"

'I am here to schmooze and promote, but the bartender needed a break. What kind of PR person would I be if I let all of the patrons of this fine establishment go thirsty?" he asked with a laugh.

The big man laughed, paid for his drinks and moved out of the way, leaving Katniss staring into the face of the man she said goodbye to five years ago.

Katniss stared at him, frozen to her spot. Gale, she thought. Why here and now? A strangled cry escaped from her throat.

"Catnip?" Gale mouthed, looking like he was seeing a ghost.

It was the use of his nickname for her that brought her back to reality. Needing to get as much space between them as possible, she turned on her heel and ran out the door into the cool night.

Katniss leaned against the wall, feeling like the wind had been knocked out of her. I need to get out of here, she thought frantically. Get somewhere safe.

She texted Elektra and Clove that she was feeling well and that she was going home. Just as she found the strength to start walking, her phone buzzed.

Figuring it was one of her friends, she ignored it until she was inside the safety of her own home. She sank to the floor with her back against the door once she looked at her phone.

She knew the number, despite not having used it in five years. "Was that really you?"


	3. Chapter 3

Katniss moved about the condo on Sunday, cleaning and packing for her trip to District Thirteen for the publishing conference.

Katniss glanced at her laptop bag, which seemed to taunt her with unread article submissions and a still unfinished outline and summary for her next book. I hate conference, she thought. So much wasted time. I have a lot of work to get done. I know it's my turn, but I really don't know why Clove or someone couldn't have taken my place.

Her thoughts about work drifted from the volume to a long buried memory of another publishing conference. She had met Finnick at a conference in District One.

He and some of his soldiers had been there for a bachelor party. Katniss smiled at the memory of Finnick rescuing her from the corny pickup lines of one of his men. They had stayed up all night talking in the lobby of the hotel, starting their tradition of staying awake all night and talking about anything and everything that popped in their heads.

I wonder where that kid Boggs is now, she thought. Hopefully he found a girl that that appreciates those lame pick up lines.

An urgent knock at the door interrupted her reminiscing. "Ugghhh," she groaned, heading toward the door. "If this is Jo come to share TMI about Blight, I will slam the door in her face. She knows I am leaving today."

"I'm busy, Jo, you know that I am leav-..." Her voice trailed off as she opened the door and found herself looking into Gale's gray eyes for the second time in the past 48 hours.

'Gale!" she cried. "What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in?" he asked, pushing his way through the door before she could respond.

Katniss offered him a seat and some tea, then took the seat farthest from him. After a few minutes of awkward silence, she repeated her question. "What are you doing here, Gale?"

"I came to find you. I got the shock of my life the other night seeing you standing there in that club. When did you come back? Why didn't anyone tell me? Why are you leaving again?" he demanded, taking notice of the plane ticket and suitcase.

Katniss bristled at his use of the word "again." She sighed. "As though I am to blame for leaving the first time," she sneered.

Gale glared at her in response. "Don't be that way Katniss. I just asked a few questions."

"Fine. I have to go to Thirteen on a business trip. I'll be gone the whole week," she explained.

"Ok, ok. But why didn't anyone tell me you were back? Johanna, my mom, Peeta….nobody told me. And why couldn't I find you? I had to ask Flavius where you lived since there isn't any property deeded to Katniss Everdeen."

Katniss sighed again and mentally added killing Flavius to her growing to do list. "Jo is MY friend, not yours. She isn't going to tell you anything. Your mom probably didn't know. I don't keep people in Twelve updated on the life of the girl who broke the heart of golden Gale Hawthorne. And I just saw Peeta for the first time in years two days ago."

"Why didn't you tell-" Gale started, but Katniss cut him off.

"As for why you couldn't find my address, Everdeen is a pen name. It's how the publishing world knows me, so I keep it. My legal name is Katniss Odair," she explained.

"You're MARRIED?" he squeaked in disbelief.

"I was….I was married. Finnick died in the war. I am a widow," she admitted, willing herself not to cry in front of him.

Gale closed the space between them and grabbed her hand. "Catnip, I'm sorry. I didn't know. You should have come to me."

"I couldn't. I just couldn't. I wasn't strong enough to re-live that pain." I'm not so sure I'm strong enough now, she realized.

"It wouldn't have been like that and you know it. I still love you. I always will. Glimmer didn't change that. I will always care about you."

Katniss glared at him and yanked her hand away. "And how is the illustrious Glimmer?"

"My wife is fine. Her modeling career is really taking off. Don't change the subject, Katniss," he commanded.

Katniss jumped as her phone buzzed and a car horn beeped, signaling the arrival of the airport shuttle. "That's my ride to the airport. I need to go. You need to go." She directed him toward the door.

"Did you listen to what I said Katniss? I still love you and I mean that. You are back in my life for a reason. I want to see you again. I need to see you again. Please," he implored.

Katniss stood frozen, unsure of what to do until Gale drew her into his arms and kissed her, hesitantly at first. Too shocked to think, she began kissing him back, responding to the warm familiarity of his embrace.

The horn sounded again and brought Katniss back to reality. She shoved Gale away from her and opened the door. "You need to leave. NOW!"

"Fine. Promise me you will call me when you get back. We still have things to say," he said. "Promise me," he commanded, noticing her hesitation.

"I will," she promised, directing him out the open door. She signaled to the driver that she would be a minute and went back inside to grab her things. What did I just do, she wondered as she ran out to the waiting car.

****Break*******

Katniss stared out the window of the plane heading back to the Capitol, grateful to be on the way home.

The conference had been productive. A lot of people had come to her seminar on making the business section relevant to the average reader. She had also met a publisher from District Ten who was interested in her book if Capitol didn't want it.

It will be good to see Jo and the girls again and find out what I missed this week, Katniss thought, Effie and Plutarch will be happy with my report on the conference. I bet Haymitch will be upset that my outline isn't done. She could almost hear him saying "I can't make an offer on an idea."

Maybe the cabin will give me some inspiration and motivation to finish the outline and the summary, she hoped. The cabin had become her place of escape and she was looking forward to going there.

Katniss closed her eyes and focused on the details of the cabin. It was in the mountains, away from the bright lights and busy life of the Capitol. She had purchased it with some of the money from the sale of her first book and had decorated it in the oranges, reds, yellows and greens of autumn in Twelve.

Will Peeta like it? she wondered. There isn't much to it, not like the fancy ski cabins the girls like, but he might enjoy that part of it.

Katniss's mind drifted away to another cabin, in another place, half a lifetime ago-her parents' cabin on the outskirts of Twelve.

The summer after graduation had been a hard one. Her dad had not been gone all that long and her mom had remarried and began to raise a new family. Gale had stayed at college for the summer, so Katniss felt truly alone. The time until she left for college seemed interminable.

After one particularly bad argument with her mother, Katniss ran out crying, heading for the cabin. She missed her dad so much and she wanted to be with him. Her plan had been to go to the lake and let the water overtake her, joining her father in whatever the next life held.

I still don't know why Peeta followed me that day, she thought. He had jumped in the lake after her and pulled her to shore.

I don't know that I ever thanked him for that, she realized. Maybe I can find out what was on his mind that day this weekend, she thought as the plane began its descent into Snow International Airport. He seems pretty eager to talk.


	4. Chapter 4

Peeta tossed a military duffel bag and a laptop bag into the backseat of Katniss's car. "I hope you don't mind that I brought my laptop. I need to do the books for this week," he explained as he climbed into the passenger side.

"I can help, you know," Katniss offered with a smile. "I have a MBA from Capitol University that I don't really use."

"I couldn't really pay you, but you can have all of the cheese buns and cake pops you can eat," he offered with a laugh.

"Sounds like a good deal to me," Katniss agreed as he turned the car onto the highway that led north into the mountains.

They talked about the publishing conference and his week at the bakery as they drove and stopped at a small grocery near the cabin to get supplies for the weekend.

Upon arriving at the cabin, Peeta helped carry the bags and groceries inside and helped put them away. After everything was in it's place, Katniss showed him around the small space.

"There is one bedroom and you can use it if you want, but the sofa is pretty fantastic and you may want that. The back porch is screened in and I spend a lot of time there when I am here. It is a good place for writing and thinking. There is a TV and WiFi. There is a lake for fishing and swimming and hiking trails. It's not much, especially compared to the ski lodges, but I like it here," she explained.

"I love the colors," Peeta said, talking in the dark reds, oranges, greens and purples. "It is autumn back at home….it is you….the way I remember you. Did you ever bring Gale here? Or your husband?"

"No. Gale could never get away from the club promotions and Finnick didn't like the mountains. He liked the water. I think he could swim before he could walk, being from Four. My friends Johanna, Clove and Elektra like the mountains, but this place is too quiet for them. They like the ski cabins. This place is solely mine. You are the first person I have ever brought here," she explained, realizing she didn't know how she felt about that.

An awkward silence fell between them. Finally, Peeta cleared his throat. "It has been a long day, for you especially. I will take this fabulous sofa and will cook breakfast in the morning in exchange for the wonderful accommodations."

"That would be great. Please wake me if you need anything," Katniss offered as she headed for the bedroom.

++++++BREAK++++++

Peeta found the sofa to be every bit as comfortable as Katniss had promised, but could not fall asleep right way.

How can I sleep when everything I have wanted since I was five is here with me? He wondered, staring at the glow in the dark stars that covered the ceiling. She's ten feet away, but it might as well be a million miles. She has been through so much and I haven't been there at all. Will she let me in after all this time?

Why am I the only one she ever brought here? Will she still be so open once she learns what I have to say? Or just tell me to never see her again?

Peeta's thoughts continued to drift until he finally realized he wasn't getting anywhere and that he had promised Katniss breakfast in just a few short hours. French toast and bacon will be good, he thought, rolling onto his side and drifting off to sleep.

++++++BREAK++++++

Katniss awoke to the aroma of French toast, bacon and coffee. Peeta has been hard at work in the kitchen while I slept in, she realized. Some hostess I am.

Peeta didn't seem to mind the fact that she had slept in and kept piling her plate high with food. When she finally convinced him that she could not eat another bite, he promised to clean up while she worked on the books.

"A girl could get used to this," she joked. "I will bring you with me every time I come up here."

"It's the least I could do for inviting me to stay and for helping with the books. That is the hardest part of running the bakery for me, " he admitted with a sheepish grin.

As she worked through everything for that week, Katniss offered to show him some programs that would make things easier. She also promised to introduce him to suppliers and potential customers throughout the city that could help grow the business. "Capitol Magazine is the top selling magazine in the city and I run the business section. I would like to do an article on the bakery at some point. That alone will bring you a ton of business."

They talked more about running a small business and how the media and word of mouth could really help him gain clients. After closing the laptop down when she was finished, Katniss looked out the small window in the kitchen.

"I was going to suggest a walk to the lake, but it looks like a storm is going to come through in a bit. Do you want to sit on the back porch and watch the rain?" she asked.

Peeta agreed and they took blankets and coffee cups and sat side by side on the wicker love seat that almost filled the back porch and watched the rain come across the mountains in companionable silence.

Katniss finally spoke after several minutes, almost as though curiosity had gotten the better of her. "Peeta you said you wanted to talk. Do you mean about Gale? You said you knew the truth."

"Yes," Peeta replied. "About Gale. And about Finnick."

Katniss turned to glare at him in surprise. "What-what about Finnick?"

"This is hard to say…." he started and trailed off. "Katniss, I knew your husband. He was my commanding officer."

Katniss's jaw dropped. "What-how-why," she stammered, not able to complete a thought.

"Finnick was my commanding officer. The best I ever served under. A roadside bomb blew up the Jeep I was in on a patrol one night, which is the accident that led to me losing my leg," he explained, touching the artificial limb as though it somehow made the story seem more real. "Me and another guy from my unit were captured and I was pretty much convinced that I was going to die there from the blood loss. The next day, Finnick and some of the others came to bust us out. He threw me over his shoulder and said 'You'll be ok, Bread Boy. And when you are better I'm going to take you to Four and have Kitty introduce you to all of her friends. You can have your pick after they find out what a hero you are."

Katniss smiled, tears welling up in her eyes. "That sounds like something he would say."

"I passed out again after that and woke up in the hospital two days later with a prosthetic leg on the lower half," he continued. "It was then that I learned that Finn had been killed in another roadside bomb. That news was the worst thing I have ever had to go through, "he explained, tears spilling out of his eyes. "Worse than being captured, worse than losing my leg…..to know that Finn saved me and I couldn't do anything for him…..it's awful."

"I knew that he was married, but I truly did not know that you were 'Kitty.' He kept the details of his private life all to himself, other than having me help pick out your ring. I thought about going to Four to see if I could find Finn's widow, but what would I have said? 'He saved me and I couldn't save him?' It would have just made things worse…...There are days when I wish it would have been different, especially knowing now that he was your husband," Peeta explained.

"Finnick loved the military," Katniss said. "More than anything, I think. Sometimes I think more than me."

Peeta glared at her sharply. "That is not true at all. He kept you to himself because you were so precious to him. He was getting out to be with you. He showed me the papers a few days before the accident," he explained.

"We had talked about it, but I didn't think he had actually put in the papers," Katniss admitted. "What Finnick didn't know at the time he died was that I was about three months pregnant with our baby. The shock of it all caused a miscarriage and I lost the baby. The grief of losing Finnick and our baby was too much for me. I ended up in the hospital for 3 months afterwards," Katniss explained, eyes downcast as though admitting a shameful secret.

Peeta put his arm around her shoulders and they both cried openly. "How do you find the strength to go on?" Peeta wondered.

"How do you?" Katniss countered as she settled into his embrace as they continued to watch the storm.

++++++BREAK++++++

After the storm passed, Katniss suggested a walk to the lake, hoping the change in scenery would turn the talk away from all of the sadness they had discussed as she was emotionally drained.

"You should bring your sketch book," she suggested. "I think you will find lots of interesting scenes at the lake to turn into art. I need to work on the outline and summary for my book if I want anyone to look at picking it up." 

They sat in the wooden deck chairs on the small rocky beach, sketching and writing. Katniss was right about the scenery, he thought. The sapphire water with mountain reflections, parents fishing with children, birds of every color. He sketched them all and then sketched Katniss in several poses, her pen moving across the page of her notebook, forehead wrinkled in concentration. He sketched her gazing out at the lake, eyes unseeing, lost in thoughts only she could hear.

I wonder what she is thinking about. Her book? Finn? The baby? Where does she find the strength to go on each day? To let people into her life?

"Peeta, do you remember that day in the summer after school go out? That day you followed me to the lake in Twelve?" she asked out of the blue.

Peeta sighed. "Yes, I remember."

"What made you follow me that day?"

"You ran by that bakery, so upset and you had this odd look in your eyes," he explained as he shivered momentarily, recalling that day. "You had this look of finality about you. Like you were done with everything. I was afraid that you would run away…..or worse. So I followed you."

"I don't know if I ever said this, but thank you," she said earnestly. "Thank you for being my friend that day and thank you for being my friend now."

"I'll always be your friend, Katniss," he promised, holding up the sketches as though they were some kind of proof. "Always."


	5. Chapter 5

Katniss opened the door to her condo Thursday to find Gale staring at her, his gray eyes flashing with impatience. "You can't avoid me Katniss," he declared as he stepped inside.

"I wasn't," Katniss shot back, lifting her chin defiantly. "This week has been really busy. I have a new book to sell and an entire section of the magazine to edit."

"Flavius told me he saw you and Johanna at the new restaurant by BTU last night. I would think you would see each other enough at work. And apparently you weren't too busy for Peeta," he growled, taking a seat on the sofa.

"Really, Gale, really? I have dinner with Jo and the girls every Wednesday. That has not changed. They have been my friends since college and have stayed with me through everything the past five years, so I make it a priority to spend time with them. I don't always get to see them at work. My job is not social, unlike yours," she dug, taking the seat on the sofa farthest from him. "And I haven't seen Peeta in years….so we spent the weekend catching up. He enjoyed my cabin, unlike you."

"I didn't come here to argue with you Katniss-"Gale began, but she cut him off.

"Peeta and I needed that time to talk about Finnick," she explained.

"Peeta told me about the connection," Gale admitted, sadness in his voice. "I'm sorry you went through that alone. I would have been there if you had let me."

Katniss stared at the carpet. "I know, Gale, I know. I….I couldn't. I wasn't strong enough to deal with everything and I didn't have the strength to come to you for help. The pain was so deep that I didn't know if I would make it out. I couldn't bear to open up the wounds left by what happened between us again on top of it all."

Tears slipped out of her eyes as Gale closed the distance between them and took her hand. "For what it's worth, I always have hated the way things ended between us. I still love you Katniss. You may not believe it, but is the truth. I never stopped loving you."

More tears slid out of her eyes as she looked up at him, not sure what to say. Gale used his free hand to wipe them away. Her heartbeat increased at his touch, a reaction she couldn't control. Despite all of the bad that had happened between them, Gale being so close always made her pulse race.

"So you didn't come here to argue. What do you want from me Gale?" Katniss demanded. "You want to be friends after all this time? I don't think Glimmer would approve."

"My feelings for you are not affected by my feelings for her. They never have been. I still love you," he declared again.

Gale leaned in to kiss her and Katniss let him, savoring the fact that it just felt good to have someone that close. He murmured sweet phrases in her ear, assuring her that he still loved her and letting her know how good it felt to be with her again. Katniss began kissing him back, lost in the heat of his words and familiarity of his kiss. Moaning as he bit gently at her bottom lip, she threw her arms around his neck and straddled his lap. I can't believe he remembers how that turns me on. It has been too long since I have felt like this, she realized.

Katniss lost herself in his kisses, not really paying attention to the fact that things were going further until Gale pushed her now unbuttoned blouse aside and kissed a trail from her collarbone to her breasts.

'Hmmmmmm," Katniss whimpered, her heart pounding in her chest at the feel of his lips on her. She could feel how hard he was against her thigh. "Mmmmmm," she whimpered again, a flash of heat running through her as she remember how he felt when he was inside her.

"Wait, wait, wait!" she scolded, pushing herself away from his chest. "You're MARRIED. We shouldn't be doing this."

Gale used the space to pull his own shirt over his head and tossed it aside. Then he drew her back to him and popped the closure to her bra open. "Sure we can," he muttered, running his hands over her breasts. "She doesn't need to know."

Katniss felt her resolve weakening as she felt Gale's lips on her breasts. Glimmer did this to me, she realized. And this does feel so good. Nobody needs to know, she thought, pulling him closer.

That was all the encouragement Gale needed and soon they were making love as intensely as they had when they were engaged. It's like we never stopped, she thought.

After their clothes were back on, Gale held her in his arms, running his fingers through her hair, they way he had done so many times before. "I love you, Catnip, I want to see you more. Please don't shut me out again," he begged.

"Gale….," she started, remorse beginning to hit. " I….I don't know….You're married. You made that choice a long time ago…..this-this was a mistake."

"This wasn't a mistake," Gale argued. "We were meant to be part of each other's lives again. I still love you and I think you still love me."

Katniss got up and started pacing around the room, not answering his unspoken question about her feelings for him. She glanced over at the bookshelf and saw her wedding photo. Oh Finnick…. she thought, guilt hitting her head on. "Gale, you-you-you need to go. I need to think," she said, placing both hands on her temples as though she could shut out all of the feelings running through her.

Gale began to protest, but Katniss cut him off by marching to the door and holding it open to speed his departure. "Ok, Katniss, I'll leave," he said. "But think about us."

When he was gone, Katniss sank to her knees with her back against the door. "What did I just do?" she muttered, tugging at her ring. "Oh, Finnick, I'm sorry."

Screaming in frustration, she managed to pull herself to her feet and ran to the bathroom, shedding her clothes as she went so she could jump into the shower to wash the scent of Gale's spicy cologne off her skin. She stayed in the shower until it ran cold, still not feeling clean.

I can't face the world tomorrow, not like this, she realized as she crawled under the heavy blankets on her bed, feeling like she would never get warm again. I need to be alone. She picked up her phone and left Effie a voicemail saying she was ill and would not be into work the following day. She texted Johanna the same message and then turned her phone off,

Katniss took a sleeping pill, knowing if she didn't that she would be awake all night, crying as she had done some many nights after the break up with Gale. I don't know if I can do this again, she thought as the pill kicked in and she drifted off to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Saturday morning Peeta opened the back door to the Meadow Lark that lead into the pantry and kitchen.

"On Saturdays I do private orders, if I have any. It's just one cake today. I can work on it while you take care of the books," he explained with a welcoming smile. "Then we can talk some more."

Katniss turned on Peeta's laptop while eyeing a tray of baked goods. "Are those cheese buns for me?"

"You can't do the books on an empty stomach," he explained. "Dig in while they are still warm."

Katniss worked on the computer and munched on cheese buns while Peeta baked and decorated a baby shower cake.

After the receipts were balanced and the cheese buns were history, Katniss and Peeta waited for the customer to pick up the cake, talking about ways to expand the private order part of his business.

Once the cake had been delivered, Peeta offered to show Katniss the upstairs, which he had turned into an apartment.

"I love the colors," she exclaimed as she glanced around his living space. The muted orange brightened up the kitchen as much as the sky blue living room presented a calming atmosphere.

"It's like living in a painting."

"That's the way I wanted it to feel," he explained, happy that she had picked up on the theme. "All of the framed paintings on the wall are mine. Places I went in the military and some inspired by District 12. I have others that I will show you some day."

Katniss accepted some tea and a seat on his overstuffed sofa and she and Peeta began to talk about his life in the military and adjusting to life in the Capitol until the inevitable subject of Gale popped up.

"You told me you know the truth about what happened between Gale and I. Do you know the truth or the District 12 version?" Katniss asked cautiously.

"I know the truth, Katniss. Gale came clean at his wedding," he confessed.

"It must have been only to you," Katniss spat, the pain of that time flooding over her like a tsunami. "I am the pariah of District 12. The girl who broker the heart of golden Gale Hawthorne. My own mother and sister still hate me for it. Hazelle is my mother's best friend and my sister is going to marry Rory. It shattered what was left of my relationship with my family and Gale's family."

Once the words started coming out, it was like a levee broke. Years of keeping the story to herself, coupled with the guilt of her tryst with Gale made the story pour out of her like a floodgate had opened .

"I thought we were happy, Gale and I. Careers on track, wedding to plan, looking for a big condo together, talk of babies one day. Life seemed so perfect," she explained.

"I had sold The Games to Capitol Publishing and they were a huge success in the young adult world. I loved going on the book tour, writing for the magazine and going to the club and restaurant promotions with Gale.

"Slowly, everything started to crack. The more we planned the wedding, the more our relationship cracked. I was busy with the wedding, so I became more office and home bound. I wasn't fun any more between the book tour and the meetings with wedding people, not to mention the magazine. Gale was still out to all hours of the night doing promotions and refused to help with anything. He was fine with the way our lives had been. Looking back on it, I don't think he really wanted to get married," Katniss admitted.

"All areas of our life suffered. It got to the point where he wouldn't even really touch me," Katniss admitted, blushing.

"I decided to try to fix it. I went to a club promotion one night, which was the first time I saw them together. She was there as a model. Gale said it was nothing, but I could tell….the way he looked at her-he hadn't ever looked at me that way.

"He did everything to convince me that it was nothing, that I was crazy, paranoid. Things got better. A few weeks later I spent the night at his condo and I was beginning to think that I was just crazy. Everything was perfect that night. He went to work the next day and I figured I would help him out by doing laundry that had piled up.

"It was like something out of a bad movie. I found women's clothes that weren't mine. When he came home I confronted him and he admitted to it being Glimmer, the model I had seen. He loved me, but he loved her too. He was unsure about what to do because everyone at home was expecting our wedding to happen."

"Gale told me what you did after that," Peeta said. "How you took the blame for the break up soe he could save face. You are a better person that I would be."

Katniss started to cry. "I couldn't let everybody hate him. I still loved him, even though I was so angry with him for ruining everything.

"Glimmer actually tried to be my friend, if you can believe that. She even invited me to the wedding," Katniss told him, anger flashing momentarily in her gray eyes.

"I told Gale to tell everyone that I had called it off, changed my mind. That I didn't love him anymore...whatever he wanted. Then, he was free….to be with Glimmer or not. Part of me actually thought he would come back," she confessed, sniffling. "When I read about their engagement, I realized that it was silly of me to believe he might come back and my heart broke all over again. Everything happened really fast and everyone believed that Glimmer healed him after I shattered his heart. I have been the bad guy ever since."

"Before the wedding, I was made at you for stomping on Gale's hear," Peeta confessed, wrapping her in his arms and drying her tears. "People thought you cheated on Gale. Nobody blames him at all."

"Yes, I know the rumors. My mom never even met Finnick. She refused to go to Four and I refused to take him to Twelve," Katniss admitted. "People are still made at me about it even now. I couldn't bear to put Finnick through that. His loved saved me when I felt hopeless. I couldn't have him know what people thought, even though it wasn't true. I never introduced him to Gale. He never even knew the story. He knew I had been engaged before, but I told him it was an amicable split. I shut off that part of my life."

"I wish I had been there for you through all of it," Peeta said. "You can say I didn't know, but I did after the wedding and I didn't do anything about the situation. I really am sorry for that, Katniss."

"You have nothing to be sorry for," she assured him, settling into the comfort of his arms. After a few minutes of silence, Katniss asked "Can I hang out here with you for the rest of the day?"

Peeta agreed and they spent the rest of the day talking about the bakery and her ideas for the magazine article she planned to write about it. Peeta even taught her some painting techniques and allowed her to practice on some blank canvass.

Walking home at the end of the day, Katniss realized that it was one of the best days she had had in a long time.


End file.
